Picture it, a spring-like day in the middle of February. It was one of those winter days you put on a sweatshirt with shorts and drive with the windows open. That was just what we were doing. My sweet little one and I were driving home from school with the windows down and radio up. I was serenading her to an old country song that I knew and enjoyed as a kid. We were both taking pleasuer in this moment while she tried singing along with me. It was one of those real-life cheesy "movie" moments that you want to pause time to live in forever.
Anyway, the road we were on is under a lot of construction so, as we're driving along, no one is going very fast and there is a lot of stopping, going, slowing down, etc. It's not a very fun road to be on right now but it was the only way home and because the weather was so nice, the song was so good and we were in happy moods, we didn't mind the road obstacles. So here we are....driving slow, with the windows open, singing a song....when the person in front of me signals to turn right and we start to slow down. Maybe I didn't slow down quick enough for her, or she was irritated that we were having a good time in our little world, who knows, but this silly woman decides to flip me off with her long middle finger as we pass by her. Wait....what?? Long pause......mood was a bit dampened now....
I had no clue what I had done to make her upset enough to want to use THE finger as a gesture toward one of her neighbors driving by. Seriously? And in front of my child. So, now that the music is down and my darling daughter is asking me what that means, I am so flustered. And because I am now flustered, that silly woman has gotten what she wanted, me to react to her.
What is wrong with people? There are so many other things in this world to be upset about than someone on the street driving along happily singing with their child. (I was going to list all the things we could be upset about here but I won't. That would make me even more angry and deflect from my true message.) What was a great mommy-daughter moment that had the potential to be a fun memory for us has now become a life lesson that I'm not ready for her to know.....that there are just people in the world who choose to be mean and mad at everyone. UHG!
Now, I pause here and reflect a little......this woman could have just had the worst day of her life. I can imagine some pretty terrible things that she could be going through right now to make her so angry at a complete stranger. Oh, I'm not letting her off the hook....there is a time and a place for everything. There is a proper way to treat thy neighbor. And, probably what I would worry most about, she really had no idea if I would retaliate back. There are people out there that would have taken it a step further (especially haven just driven down this frustrating road we had been on). I've seen road rage happen between cars even with small passengers in the car, and it doesn't make me happy.
Now, look, I'm not a saint. I'm not perfect. There have been times that I "prod" the driver in front of me a little when they don't react fast enough to the red light turning green. I've beeped my horn a bit when I think someone isn't paying attention to the road and they are about to ram into my ride. I've given "a look" at someone who might be driving 30mph on a one-lane road with a 45mph speed limit when the road is wide open. But, I can honestly say that I have never initiated the use of "the finger" toward anyone. I just can't imagine what I did while driving to provoke it. I've gone back over that last mile or so to try to understand what I might have done but I just don't know. Oh well....
My wish today is to be a part of a community that loves each other, respects each other, helps each other to raise strong respectful children and just understands with an empathetic heart when something may not be going they way we want it to go in that moment.
How did I explain this gesture to my sweetie?
Daughter: "Mommy, what does this mean?" (as she is trying to stick her middle finger out at me)
Mom: "Well, you shouldn't do that. It is like saying a bad word and it isn't a very nice or respectful thing to do."
Daughter: "Why did that woman just do that?"
Mom: "I'm not really sure, sweetie. Maybe she was having a bad day. Some people just get mad at others when they have a bad day."
Daughter: "Do you know her?"
Mom: "Nope, I don't. But I hope her day gets better."
Daughter: "Me too. Can you turn the song back on?"
I'm sure we will have this conversation again but for now, we've moved on. And someday, when this young woman has a family of her own and someone flips her off, she'll have the same opportunity to explain this to her darling daughter. Or maybe, she won't think its as disrespectful as we do and not have that conversation with her child, but hope she does......
No comments:
Post a Comment