Day 17: Re-purposing at it's best!!

We have some new neighbors that just moved into the trees behind us. They are peaceful little creatures that can get a little loud sometimes, but we don't really mind that. They are amazing musicians who produce the sweetest of music. They are majestic and very beautiful; they are mesmerizing!

They are also very very hungry! We have a little bird-feeder and bird-bath and we keep them stocked up pretty well, usually. But we've seen lately that it's just not enough and we had to do something about it. However, on this particular day, a trip to the local bird-feeder retailer was not in the plan.

The Hubs put his creative hat on, looked around the house and the yard for a solution and came up with this little gem of a solution. All you need is:

 - an empty juice bottle to hold the seeds
 - a lid from a laundry detergent container to create the dinner plates
 - twigs from the yard and twine to connect them all together to create the perches

Just get your knife and get creative with this project. I'm not going to give you a "how-to" DIY video here. I think, if you are the type of person to venture out on this activity, you probably can figure out how it all goes together. I have no problem admitting that I would have just hopped in the car to go purchase a new, bigger feeder. But I will also admit that I'm always very impressed with my family's creativity and desire to re-purpose household items for the greater good.

It took our little neighbors a few hours to figure out what the new contraption was. But once the word got out, there has been a constant flow of customers. I think I hear them singing "Thank You Very Much" right now!

And here's a beautiful cardinal helping himself to the spillage! This is the best part about the start of Spring, in my opinion!!

Day 16: It Takes a Village

You know the saying, "it takes a village to raise a child"? This has rang true so many times lately for me. Oh, I'm not talking about calling on my neighbor to run my daughter to cheer practice so I can take The Boy to the doctor or when I asked the preschool teacher to incorporate why telling a lie is not good in her lesson plan this week.....which I've been known to have done recently. I have great neighbors, the kids have great teachers and we have an amazing family who live very close. They are all part of our family village and we wouldn't be this successful as a family unit without them. We are very very blessed. But they are not the topic of this conversation today.

The simple ride to school brings up several opportunities for me to talk about what is right and what is wrong. The time when The Lady and I were at a restaurant waiting for our table and watching people walk in the front door is another good opportunity to talk about courtesy. So often, the older kids will come home to discuss their day and we have to talk about how to treat people with a caring heart as well as how to be strong enough to stick up for ourselves as well as others. There are so many opportunities out there and the most difficult part about it is how to discuss these things without being judgmental......Here is a short list of a few recent conversation topics:

 - Thank you to the parent who dropped off their child at the street entrance to the school instead of driving into the carpool line. This not only helped me explain how to safely walk through moving traffic but also allowed me the opportunity to talk about why the school has set up certain drop off procedures that we need to be mindful of. The rules aren't made to make us mad, they are created to keep all the little kiddos safe. Thank you again!!!

 - Thank you to the gentleman who held open the door at the restaurant for about 15 people who never acknowledged your courtesy. My daughter and I watched this actually happen the other day. When we were finally seated at our table, we discussed what "common courtesy" is. It's not just the holding of the door for someone; it's that someone getting off their phone and looking up at the nice man and saying the words "Thank you!" Aren't these words we teach all of our children to say when they are toddlers. Yes. No. Please. Thank you. You're welcome. It also gave me the opportunity to explain to her that we still need to try our best to extend these courtesies, even if we think someone won't say "thank you."

 - Thank you to the amazing employee down at the grocery store. The Hubby and The Lady went to the store the other day for a few things. When they returned home, The Lady's devastated expression said it all. She had left her cell phone in the cart before they drove off. When she realized it, her dad promptly turned around and went back to find it but the carts had already been collected. They went inside and told the manager behind the customer service counter. No one had turned it in just yet. She returned home in tears. So this gave us the opportunity to talk about being responsible for expensive toys as well as to not be so attached to material items that can be replaced (eventually). Then the phone call came.....someone had turned it in!!! It turned out to be one of the employees that is always so helpful when we come to shop. Before leaving the house to go scoop it up, The Lady made a quick Valentine's Day card (since it was  V'Day) as a way of showing her gratitude. This was completely her idea which made us very proud! Thank you to that employee for giving me the opportunity to discuss with my child the right thing to do in situations like this. You could have had yourself a nice new toy, instead you called us to come get it.

 - Thank you to the professional football players for giving me the opportunity to talk to my kids again about how to be a humble winner and a gracious loser. Since all of our kids play some kind of sport, we talk about this all the time. We always want them to be proud of a job well done when they win a game or a match, but to also remember that someone else lost that one and they are probably feeling pretty bad about it. On the flip side, we talk about the fact that we aren't going to win all the time. We talk about how to be a strong competitor and say "good job" or "well played" or "nicely done" and shake hands. Yes we can be disappointed, for sure! But it's how we make someone feel about their performance that counts. So, after the big game the other night, when the QB of the 2nd place team came on the television to discuss the game, looking like he was about to crawl under the table in tears,  we were able to continue this discussion.....so, high five Mr. QB!! I thank you personally for being part of our village!

Oh, I will not sit here and tell you that our little family is perfect and that we follow all the rules or that we don't get angry or distracted and lose our courtesies. But we really do always try to do our best, to do the right thing, which is probably why seeing others lose that courtesy or the desire to do the right thing makes us a little irritated. As a parent, all I can wish for is that my kids grow up to be responsible citizens of the world they live in. What that means to me is....they hold the door open for someone behind them....that they acknowledge good deeds....that they show respect and try to understand the rules of the world. I also expect them to stand up for what is right and try to change the things that they think are wrong.

There have been instances in the past where I just didn't think I was treated fairly and I may have or may not have reacted in an appropriate manner. And because of that reaction, I may have lost a friendship or damaged a family relationship a bit.  I do reflect on those times and try to incorporate what I could have done better into my discussions with my kiddos. I will always discuss how to apologize and how to make up for any poor behavior, to repair those relationships and to move on. Again, I am not perfect, none of us are. The best thing I can do is to live as an example to my children and to have these "village" conversations with respect for others around us.

Day 15: What's a "Life-Hack"??

I learned a new term yesterday from my kiddos: "Life-hack"

When I asked what it meant, they showed me some cool you-tube vids that illustrated how to use household items in ways that may not have been the original intention. I also "googled it" too and found a lot of great and fun sites about "life-hacks" already out there. Check out 1000lifehacks.com. It's not a new idea, just a new term to describe it. In fact, I think Pinterest is the #1 place to go for re-purposing almost everything in the world!

Now I'm feeling a little old and "out of it". I used to be so hip and "with it", I thought, but there are clearly two or three generations younger than this Gen-Xer which means there is almost an entirely new language of slang words.   I really don't mind this at all, it just takes some getting used to. I'm very proud of growing up in the 70s, 80s, and 90s. In fact, it was probably a Gen-Xer who created the term "life-hack" (insert giggle here).

I read a book this summer along with The Boy which was required for him to read for school.  I just wanted to be able to discuss it with him while he read it. There were so many new terms in the book that I didn't know. One that I thought was quite humorous was how the author referred to parents as "Rents" - the people who pay your rent. I sometimes use this term with The Boy and he almost always rolls his eyes at me.

I truly love learning new things and so was excited to see how much my children enjoyed teaching me about "life-hacks". I don't feel so out of touch now. But I probably need to try to keep my knowledge of this hip new terminology on the DL so that I don't embarrass my children in front of their friends. I would hate to do that. =)

I am now obsessed with finding new "life-hacks" that I've never heard of! Is that a good thing or a bad thing....only time will tell!

Cheers!

Day 13: The use of "the finger"

Picture it, a spring-like day in the middle of February. It was one of those winter days you put on a sweatshirt with shorts and drive with the windows open. That was just what we were doing. My sweet little one and I were driving home from school with the windows down and radio up. I was serenading her to an old country song that I knew and enjoyed as a kid. We were both taking pleasuer in this moment while she tried singing along with me. It was one of those real-life cheesy "movie" moments that you want to pause time to live in forever.

Anyway, the road we were on is under a lot of construction so, as we're driving along, no one is going very fast and there is a lot of stopping, going, slowing down, etc. It's not a very fun road to be on right now but it was the only way home and because the weather was so nice, the song was so good and we were in happy moods, we didn't mind the road obstacles. So here we are....driving slow, with the windows open, singing a song....when the person in front of me signals to turn right and we start to slow down. Maybe I didn't slow down quick enough for her, or she was irritated that we were having a good time in our little world, who knows,  but this silly woman decides to flip me off with her long middle finger as we pass by her.  Wait....what?? Long pause......mood was a bit dampened now....

I had no clue what I had done to make her upset enough to want to use THE finger as a gesture toward one of her neighbors driving by.  Seriously? And in front of my child. So, now that the music is down and my darling daughter is asking me what that means, I am so flustered. And because I am now flustered, that silly woman has gotten what she wanted, me to react to her.

What is wrong with people? There are so many other things in this world to be upset about than someone on the street driving along happily singing with their child. (I was going to list all the things we could be upset about here but I won't. That would make me even more angry and deflect from my true message.) What was a great mommy-daughter moment that had the potential to be a fun memory for us has now become a life lesson that I'm not ready for her to know.....that there are just people in the world who choose to be mean and mad at everyone. UHG!

Now, I pause here and reflect a little......this woman could have just had the worst day of her life. I can imagine some pretty terrible things that she could be going through right now to make her so angry at a complete stranger. Oh, I'm not letting her off the hook....there is a time and a place for everything. There is a proper way to treat thy neighbor. And, probably what I would worry most about, she really had no idea if I would retaliate back. There are people out there that would have taken it a step further (especially haven just driven down this frustrating road we had been on). I've seen road rage happen between cars even with small passengers in the car, and it doesn't make me happy.

Now, look, I'm not a saint. I'm not perfect. There have been times that I "prod" the driver in front of me a little when they don't react fast enough to the red light turning green. I've beeped my horn a bit when I think someone isn't paying attention to the road and they are about to ram into my ride. I've given "a look" at someone who might be driving 30mph on a one-lane road with a 45mph speed limit when the road is wide open. But, I can honestly say that I have never initiated the use of "the finger" toward anyone. I just can't imagine what I did while driving to provoke it. I've gone back over that last mile or so to try to understand what I might have done but I just don't know. Oh well....

My wish today is to be a part of a community that loves each other, respects each other, helps each other to raise strong respectful children and just understands with an empathetic heart when something may not be going they way we want it to go in that moment.

How did I explain this gesture to my sweetie?

Daughter: "Mommy, what does this mean?" (as she is trying to stick her middle finger out at me)
Mom: "Well, you shouldn't do that. It is like saying a bad word and it isn't a very nice or respectful thing to do."
Daughter: "Why did that woman just do that?"
Mom: "I'm not really sure, sweetie. Maybe she was having a bad day. Some people just get mad at others when they have a bad day."
Daughter: "Do you know her?"
Mom: "Nope, I don't. But I hope her day gets better."
Daughter: "Me too. Can you turn the song back on?"

I'm sure we will have this conversation again but for now, we've moved on. And someday, when this young woman has a family of her own and someone flips her off, she'll have the same opportunity to explain this to her darling daughter. Or maybe, she won't think its as disrespectful as we do and not have that conversation with her child, but hope she does......

Day 12: Online shopping.....love it and hate it!

I think that online shopping is one of the greatest modern inventions that my generation has experienced. In this crazy crazy world we live in, shopping online has made it so much easier for me as a mom to balance life, while making sure my family is provided for. And after a bit of trial and error, I have my favorite e-shops for clothes and shoes for the entire family.

I don't have to wait 7-10 business days for much of what I buy to be delivered, there are so many "free 2 day shipping" coupons out there.  All you have to do is look. I will fill up my online shopping cart, and if there isn't a code listed on the front page of the site, I just open another window and search for a coupon or two. A lot of times I find a free shipping coupon AND a discount code. I've even been known to shop for groceries online which is great when you travel and are not sure just where a grocery store might be. 

The latest craze that I've uncovered is the delivery service. Oh, this concept has been around for ages but it hasn't been as easy as it is today. There are a few apps out there that you download on your smart phone. You place your request and it will find someone to run errands for you...errands like taking care of dry cleaning, delivering food from a restaurant that doesn't already deliver, grocery shopping, flower delivery, etc. Just about anything can be taken care of without leaving the comfort of your home......I even found a site that would deliver wine to my front door within two hours of me ordering it.....now that could be very dangerous!

But I have two main complaints about online shopping today.

eMail Craziness!!! 

I went to bed last night with zero new mail in my email inbox and woke up with over 50 new messages. After scanning through them, I found no new messages from the kids' schools, doctor appointment reminders, or from family or friends. All those new messages were from the shops that I frequent most or from shops that want my new business. This is just before 4am. As I clean out these advertisements throughout the day, new ads are quickly filling up the inbox again.  So, now I have to continually clean out my inbox fearing that I might miss something important. I've set up another email address to eventually use for all my personal communications but I really like the old one. If I change to the new one, that means everyone (except shopping sites) will have to update their address books. I will still have to scan the old inbox for fear that address books have not been changed. It's so very frustrating but I guess it's better than getting catalogs in the mail.

Not Going To The Mall

My second complaint.....is not going to the mall. The mall is definitely not my favorite place to go as a 40ish mom of three busy kids and husband. It's too crowded, filled with germs and people who walk way too slow in big groups. There are too many kiosks manned by people who harass me about my skin care or nail maintenance. It's just not enjoyable. But it used to be, when I was a teenager. 

Mom would drop me and my friends off  instructing us to meet on the second floor by JCPenny in two hours. We'd run off to Orange Julius and then start the stroll, the kind of stroll that drives me nuts today. We loved it! Back to school shopping was super fun and Christmas shopping was even better. We could see all the latest styles and actually try on the shoes. My kids do not know about all this. Yes, they have been to the mall before but they haven't really had the experience of traditional "shopping" and that is becoming a problem. My oldest daughter is verging on being a teenager. Her styles are changing which means her current closet that is full of fun t-shirts and jeans are no longer enjoyable to wear. She's ready to be immersed in trying on all kinds of different tops and bottoms and picking and choosing the shoes and accessories that go along with them. She's ready.....and I'm dreading it. But we have a day planned to go and do this and she is super excited. 

While I may think that shopping online is more convenient and stress-free, seeing my daughter go through this young-woman-ritual is going to be worth it. I'm sure this won't be the last "trip to the mall" in my near future. 

Oh how I love my mid-night shopping sprees online, but I also think it takes away from being a part of normal society.  And I will continue to manage my two inboxes and might place a grocery store order or two but I'm also going to adventure out of the house and show my daughter how to shop; how to shop properly and how to avoid all the pesky kiosk creatures. 

It's just another new mother-adventure!

Day 9 through 11: Uhg!!

Writer's block.....please stay tuned......