Some people may call me a bit OCD at times when it comes to routine, not all the time, just some of the time. But I can be spontaneous too (sometimes). I really do love a good routine of activities. I think it's called "being structured", not really OCD, right?
Just a few things I like "structured" are:
- Laundry is always and only done on Thursdays.
- I rarely prepare the same thing for the kids breakfasts twice a week.
- I hate to exercise in the afternoon, it should always be done in the morning.
- Dishwasher should be loaded properly (to my specifications) for the best wash possible. I've been known to reload it on a few occasions.
- All labels in the pantry should be facing outward, so that we can see what we have. This goes for the refrigerator, too.
- Speaking of the pantry and the frig, I like all things to be stacked according to type of food. Isn't that the way everyone does it?
- After my weekly jaunt to the grocery store, I put away the groceries. No one else, just me. Not only do I enjoy making sure the pantry and frig are properly loaded but I also like to be able to know where everything is later when I'm preparing the meals. And, please put things back where you found them!
- Don't get me started on crumbs left behind.......
Those are just a few areas where I feel I might be on the edge of OCD, but lets just characterize me as "structured". I like that word much better.
I rarely sleep in on Saturdays. I like my quiet time and the peace of not having to pry the kids' eyes open to wake up for school like I do each weekday. Come to think of it, I rarely sleep in on Sundays either. I am pretty much up out of bed by 5am (I'm an early bird) every day of the week. I really don't like to sleep in, no matter how late I was up the night before. Could that be another area where I'm "structured"? Hmmmm......
Today is one of those Saturday mornings where I was out of bed around 430am. Routinely, I like to slowly enjoy a cup of coffee as soon as I wake up. I can't do that today, though, I gave coffee up for lent. So now I find myself pacing around the kitchen wondering what I am missing. I'm proud to have given it up and have not had much of a withdrawal issue. But I am really missing the routine of sipping a good cup of java in the peace of the early morning.
Saturday mornings are busy for me. I like to plan out the weekly menu and get my grocery list done so that I can get to the store before the rush after I drop one darling daughter off at cheer practice. I have just enough time to shop, drop off the load and put the cold stuff away between her drop off and pick up. It really is a great routine. If I stick with it, then I can enjoy what the rest of the day has in store without worrying about going to the store again for a week (unless we run out of milk or wine).
Over the years, I've created several types of menu designs. I used to print out a grid and hand-write everything in. Then I moved it all to the computer and it has manifested it's self into an excel spreadsheet that has every meal for every person in the family. The kids rarely like the same things for breakfast so I have to make sure I have enough supplies to accommodate their every desire (not really but it sounds good). Lunches have really settled into a good routine and there is no complaining there from anyone. Dinners....let's talk about dinner....
Have I mentioned that I LOVE to cook. It's really great therapy for me after a long day. Not many people can say that coming home to cook a homemade meal is enjoyable. But I can. Oh, don't get me wrong, I love a little fast food once in a while, but I would rather cook a good hamburger than to get it at the fast-food-joint down the block. We do have our regular family favorites but I generally like to spice it up a bit each with and throw in something new. That doesn't always make me the popular parent but, on a occasion, I will hit the ball out of the park and we will have a new "family favorite" to add to our list.
Once I have my menu complete and any new recipes printed out, I start compiling my shopping list. The process was pretty laborious at one time. I would take my weekly hand-written menu and then write down what was needed on one sheet of paper. Step two was to get a new piece of paper and re-write the list, only this time, it would be in order of where it was in the store. And my handwriting better be good or I would have to start all over. And it always bothered me that it wasn't in alphabetical order.
Now that I've discovered this great toy called "the computer", I have transitioned my entire routine! I create my menus in MS Excel as well as my grocery list. And I love it. Now I can't wait to wake up at 430am on Saturday mornings to complete this weekly task!
I do have to brag a little bit on the hubs. I would never consider myself an expert at Excel, but I would consider my husband to be an ultra-expert. Here I was creating, sorting, resorting, moving columns, adding rows, and alphabetizing in order to make sure my list was amazing and easy to follow as I shopped, when JB wakes up to see what I'm doing. I explain. Later that day, he sat down, pushed a few buttons and said, "Take a look at this, honey." What I saw made my head swim. It was a master list of items that we buy all the time. I could now push one button and something magical would occur. A final list was created of the items I selected from the master list. It was in order of the isles the products could be found AND alphabetically. Best part, it was set up in order for me to be able to walk around the store efficiently too. I love it!!
Oh there are so many prefabricated templates out there for shopping as well as a few smart phone apps. I've tried most of them and really nothing compares to my very own customized list generator. It really does help in making life more efficient for me. That's the word I've been looking for, efficient. Who doesn't want to manage life's chores efficiently so that you have more time for the spontaneous fun? Not me, that's for sure!
Saturday, March 5, 2016
Saturday, February 27, 2016
Day 17: Re-purposing at it's best!!
They are also very very hungry! We have a little bird-feeder and bird-bath and we keep them stocked up pretty well, usually. But we've seen lately that it's just not enough and we had to do something about it. However, on this particular day, a trip to the local bird-feeder retailer was not in the plan.
The Hubs put his creative hat on, looked around the house and the yard for a solution and came up with this little gem of a solution. All you need is:
- an empty juice bottle to hold the seeds
- a lid from a laundry detergent container to create the dinner plates
- twigs from the yard and twine to connect them all together to create the perches
Just get your knife and get creative with this project. I'm not going to give you a "how-to" DIY video here. I think, if you are the type of person to venture out on this activity, you probably can figure out how it all goes together. I have no problem admitting that I would have just hopped in the car to go purchase a new, bigger feeder. But I will also admit that I'm always very impressed with my family's creativity and desire to re-purpose household items for the greater good.
It took our little neighbors a few hours to figure out what the new contraption was. But once the word got out, there has been a constant flow of customers. I think I hear them singing "Thank You Very Much" right now!
And here's a beautiful cardinal helping himself to the spillage! This is the best part about the start of Spring, in my opinion!!
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Day 16: It Takes a Village
You know the saying, "it takes a village to raise a child"? This has rang true so many times lately for me. Oh, I'm not talking about calling on my neighbor to run my daughter to cheer practice so I can take The Boy to the doctor or when I asked the preschool teacher to incorporate why telling a lie is not good in her lesson plan this week.....which I've been known to have done recently. I have great neighbors, the kids have great teachers and we have an amazing family who live very close. They are all part of our family village and we wouldn't be this successful as a family unit without them. We are very very blessed. But they are not the topic of this conversation today.
The simple ride to school brings up several opportunities for me to talk about what is right and what is wrong. The time when The Lady and I were at a restaurant waiting for our table and watching people walk in the front door is another good opportunity to talk about courtesy. So often, the older kids will come home to discuss their day and we have to talk about how to treat people with a caring heart as well as how to be strong enough to stick up for ourselves as well as others. There are so many opportunities out there and the most difficult part about it is how to discuss these things without being judgmental......Here is a short list of a few recent conversation topics:
- Thank you to the parent who dropped off their child at the street entrance to the school instead of driving into the carpool line. This not only helped me explain how to safely walk through moving traffic but also allowed me the opportunity to talk about why the school has set up certain drop off procedures that we need to be mindful of. The rules aren't made to make us mad, they are created to keep all the little kiddos safe. Thank you again!!!
- Thank you to the gentleman who held open the door at the restaurant for about 15 people who never acknowledged your courtesy. My daughter and I watched this actually happen the other day. When we were finally seated at our table, we discussed what "common courtesy" is. It's not just the holding of the door for someone; it's that someone getting off their phone and looking up at the nice man and saying the words "Thank you!" Aren't these words we teach all of our children to say when they are toddlers. Yes. No. Please. Thank you. You're welcome. It also gave me the opportunity to explain to her that we still need to try our best to extend these courtesies, even if we think someone won't say "thank you."
- Thank you to the amazing employee down at the grocery store. The Hubby and The Lady went to the store the other day for a few things. When they returned home, The Lady's devastated expression said it all. She had left her cell phone in the cart before they drove off. When she realized it, her dad promptly turned around and went back to find it but the carts had already been collected. They went inside and told the manager behind the customer service counter. No one had turned it in just yet. She returned home in tears. So this gave us the opportunity to talk about being responsible for expensive toys as well as to not be so attached to material items that can be replaced (eventually). Then the phone call came.....someone had turned it in!!! It turned out to be one of the employees that is always so helpful when we come to shop. Before leaving the house to go scoop it up, The Lady made a quick Valentine's Day card (since it was V'Day) as a way of showing her gratitude. This was completely her idea which made us very proud! Thank you to that employee for giving me the opportunity to discuss with my child the right thing to do in situations like this. You could have had yourself a nice new toy, instead you called us to come get it.
- Thank you to the professional football players for giving me the opportunity to talk to my kids again about how to be a humble winner and a gracious loser. Since all of our kids play some kind of sport, we talk about this all the time. We always want them to be proud of a job well done when they win a game or a match, but to also remember that someone else lost that one and they are probably feeling pretty bad about it. On the flip side, we talk about the fact that we aren't going to win all the time. We talk about how to be a strong competitor and say "good job" or "well played" or "nicely done" and shake hands. Yes we can be disappointed, for sure! But it's how we make someone feel about their performance that counts. So, after the big game the other night, when the QB of the 2nd place team came on the television to discuss the game, looking like he was about to crawl under the table in tears, we were able to continue this discussion.....so, high five Mr. QB!! I thank you personally for being part of our village!
Oh, I will not sit here and tell you that our little family is perfect and that we follow all the rules or that we don't get angry or distracted and lose our courtesies. But we really do always try to do our best, to do the right thing, which is probably why seeing others lose that courtesy or the desire to do the right thing makes us a little irritated. As a parent, all I can wish for is that my kids grow up to be responsible citizens of the world they live in. What that means to me is....they hold the door open for someone behind them....that they acknowledge good deeds....that they show respect and try to understand the rules of the world. I also expect them to stand up for what is right and try to change the things that they think are wrong.
There have been instances in the past where I just didn't think I was treated fairly and I may have or may not have reacted in an appropriate manner. And because of that reaction, I may have lost a friendship or damaged a family relationship a bit. I do reflect on those times and try to incorporate what I could have done better into my discussions with my kiddos. I will always discuss how to apologize and how to make up for any poor behavior, to repair those relationships and to move on. Again, I am not perfect, none of us are. The best thing I can do is to live as an example to my children and to have these "village" conversations with respect for others around us.
The simple ride to school brings up several opportunities for me to talk about what is right and what is wrong. The time when The Lady and I were at a restaurant waiting for our table and watching people walk in the front door is another good opportunity to talk about courtesy. So often, the older kids will come home to discuss their day and we have to talk about how to treat people with a caring heart as well as how to be strong enough to stick up for ourselves as well as others. There are so many opportunities out there and the most difficult part about it is how to discuss these things without being judgmental......Here is a short list of a few recent conversation topics:
- Thank you to the parent who dropped off their child at the street entrance to the school instead of driving into the carpool line. This not only helped me explain how to safely walk through moving traffic but also allowed me the opportunity to talk about why the school has set up certain drop off procedures that we need to be mindful of. The rules aren't made to make us mad, they are created to keep all the little kiddos safe. Thank you again!!!
- Thank you to the gentleman who held open the door at the restaurant for about 15 people who never acknowledged your courtesy. My daughter and I watched this actually happen the other day. When we were finally seated at our table, we discussed what "common courtesy" is. It's not just the holding of the door for someone; it's that someone getting off their phone and looking up at the nice man and saying the words "Thank you!" Aren't these words we teach all of our children to say when they are toddlers. Yes. No. Please. Thank you. You're welcome. It also gave me the opportunity to explain to her that we still need to try our best to extend these courtesies, even if we think someone won't say "thank you."
- Thank you to the amazing employee down at the grocery store. The Hubby and The Lady went to the store the other day for a few things. When they returned home, The Lady's devastated expression said it all. She had left her cell phone in the cart before they drove off. When she realized it, her dad promptly turned around and went back to find it but the carts had already been collected. They went inside and told the manager behind the customer service counter. No one had turned it in just yet. She returned home in tears. So this gave us the opportunity to talk about being responsible for expensive toys as well as to not be so attached to material items that can be replaced (eventually). Then the phone call came.....someone had turned it in!!! It turned out to be one of the employees that is always so helpful when we come to shop. Before leaving the house to go scoop it up, The Lady made a quick Valentine's Day card (since it was V'Day) as a way of showing her gratitude. This was completely her idea which made us very proud! Thank you to that employee for giving me the opportunity to discuss with my child the right thing to do in situations like this. You could have had yourself a nice new toy, instead you called us to come get it.
- Thank you to the professional football players for giving me the opportunity to talk to my kids again about how to be a humble winner and a gracious loser. Since all of our kids play some kind of sport, we talk about this all the time. We always want them to be proud of a job well done when they win a game or a match, but to also remember that someone else lost that one and they are probably feeling pretty bad about it. On the flip side, we talk about the fact that we aren't going to win all the time. We talk about how to be a strong competitor and say "good job" or "well played" or "nicely done" and shake hands. Yes we can be disappointed, for sure! But it's how we make someone feel about their performance that counts. So, after the big game the other night, when the QB of the 2nd place team came on the television to discuss the game, looking like he was about to crawl under the table in tears, we were able to continue this discussion.....so, high five Mr. QB!! I thank you personally for being part of our village!
Oh, I will not sit here and tell you that our little family is perfect and that we follow all the rules or that we don't get angry or distracted and lose our courtesies. But we really do always try to do our best, to do the right thing, which is probably why seeing others lose that courtesy or the desire to do the right thing makes us a little irritated. As a parent, all I can wish for is that my kids grow up to be responsible citizens of the world they live in. What that means to me is....they hold the door open for someone behind them....that they acknowledge good deeds....that they show respect and try to understand the rules of the world. I also expect them to stand up for what is right and try to change the things that they think are wrong.
There have been instances in the past where I just didn't think I was treated fairly and I may have or may not have reacted in an appropriate manner. And because of that reaction, I may have lost a friendship or damaged a family relationship a bit. I do reflect on those times and try to incorporate what I could have done better into my discussions with my kiddos. I will always discuss how to apologize and how to make up for any poor behavior, to repair those relationships and to move on. Again, I am not perfect, none of us are. The best thing I can do is to live as an example to my children and to have these "village" conversations with respect for others around us.
Friday, February 12, 2016
Day 15: What's a "Life-Hack"??
I learned a new term yesterday from my kiddos: "Life-hack"
When I asked what it meant, they showed me some cool you-tube vids that illustrated how to use household items in ways that may not have been the original intention. I also "googled it" too and found a lot of great and fun sites about "life-hacks" already out there. Check out 1000lifehacks.com. It's not a new idea, just a new term to describe it. In fact, I think Pinterest is the #1 place to go for re-purposing almost everything in the world!
Now I'm feeling a little old and "out of it". I used to be so hip and "with it", I thought, but there are clearly two or three generations younger than this Gen-Xer which means there is almost an entirely new language of slang words. I really don't mind this at all, it just takes some getting used to. I'm very proud of growing up in the 70s, 80s, and 90s. In fact, it was probably a Gen-Xer who created the term "life-hack" (insert giggle here).
I read a book this summer along with The Boy which was required for him to read for school. I just wanted to be able to discuss it with him while he read it. There were so many new terms in the book that I didn't know. One that I thought was quite humorous was how the author referred to parents as "Rents" - the people who pay your rent. I sometimes use this term with The Boy and he almost always rolls his eyes at me.
I truly love learning new things and so was excited to see how much my children enjoyed teaching me about "life-hacks". I don't feel so out of touch now. But I probably need to try to keep my knowledge of this hip new terminology on the DL so that I don't embarrass my children in front of their friends. I would hate to do that. =)
I am now obsessed with finding new "life-hacks" that I've never heard of! Is that a good thing or a bad thing....only time will tell!
Cheers!
When I asked what it meant, they showed me some cool you-tube vids that illustrated how to use household items in ways that may not have been the original intention. I also "googled it" too and found a lot of great and fun sites about "life-hacks" already out there. Check out 1000lifehacks.com. It's not a new idea, just a new term to describe it. In fact, I think Pinterest is the #1 place to go for re-purposing almost everything in the world!
Now I'm feeling a little old and "out of it". I used to be so hip and "with it", I thought, but there are clearly two or three generations younger than this Gen-Xer which means there is almost an entirely new language of slang words. I really don't mind this at all, it just takes some getting used to. I'm very proud of growing up in the 70s, 80s, and 90s. In fact, it was probably a Gen-Xer who created the term "life-hack" (insert giggle here).
I read a book this summer along with The Boy which was required for him to read for school. I just wanted to be able to discuss it with him while he read it. There were so many new terms in the book that I didn't know. One that I thought was quite humorous was how the author referred to parents as "Rents" - the people who pay your rent. I sometimes use this term with The Boy and he almost always rolls his eyes at me.
I truly love learning new things and so was excited to see how much my children enjoyed teaching me about "life-hacks". I don't feel so out of touch now. But I probably need to try to keep my knowledge of this hip new terminology on the DL so that I don't embarrass my children in front of their friends. I would hate to do that. =)
I am now obsessed with finding new "life-hacks" that I've never heard of! Is that a good thing or a bad thing....only time will tell!
Cheers!
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
Day 13: The use of "the finger"
Picture it, a spring-like day in the middle of February. It was one of those winter days you put on a sweatshirt with shorts and drive with the windows open. That was just what we were doing. My sweet little one and I were driving home from school with the windows down and radio up. I was serenading her to an old country song that I knew and enjoyed as a kid. We were both taking pleasuer in this moment while she tried singing along with me. It was one of those real-life cheesy "movie" moments that you want to pause time to live in forever.
Anyway, the road we were on is under a lot of construction so, as we're driving along, no one is going very fast and there is a lot of stopping, going, slowing down, etc. It's not a very fun road to be on right now but it was the only way home and because the weather was so nice, the song was so good and we were in happy moods, we didn't mind the road obstacles. So here we are....driving slow, with the windows open, singing a song....when the person in front of me signals to turn right and we start to slow down. Maybe I didn't slow down quick enough for her, or she was irritated that we were having a good time in our little world, who knows, but this silly woman decides to flip me off with her long middle finger as we pass by her. Wait....what?? Long pause......mood was a bit dampened now....
I had no clue what I had done to make her upset enough to want to use THE finger as a gesture toward one of her neighbors driving by. Seriously? And in front of my child. So, now that the music is down and my darling daughter is asking me what that means, I am so flustered. And because I am now flustered, that silly woman has gotten what she wanted, me to react to her.
What is wrong with people? There are so many other things in this world to be upset about than someone on the street driving along happily singing with their child. (I was going to list all the things we could be upset about here but I won't. That would make me even more angry and deflect from my true message.) What was a great mommy-daughter moment that had the potential to be a fun memory for us has now become a life lesson that I'm not ready for her to know.....that there are just people in the world who choose to be mean and mad at everyone. UHG!
Now, I pause here and reflect a little......this woman could have just had the worst day of her life. I can imagine some pretty terrible things that she could be going through right now to make her so angry at a complete stranger. Oh, I'm not letting her off the hook....there is a time and a place for everything. There is a proper way to treat thy neighbor. And, probably what I would worry most about, she really had no idea if I would retaliate back. There are people out there that would have taken it a step further (especially haven just driven down this frustrating road we had been on). I've seen road rage happen between cars even with small passengers in the car, and it doesn't make me happy.
Now, look, I'm not a saint. I'm not perfect. There have been times that I "prod" the driver in front of me a little when they don't react fast enough to the red light turning green. I've beeped my horn a bit when I think someone isn't paying attention to the road and they are about to ram into my ride. I've given "a look" at someone who might be driving 30mph on a one-lane road with a 45mph speed limit when the road is wide open. But, I can honestly say that I have never initiated the use of "the finger" toward anyone. I just can't imagine what I did while driving to provoke it. I've gone back over that last mile or so to try to understand what I might have done but I just don't know. Oh well....
My wish today is to be a part of a community that loves each other, respects each other, helps each other to raise strong respectful children and just understands with an empathetic heart when something may not be going they way we want it to go in that moment.
How did I explain this gesture to my sweetie?
Daughter: "Mommy, what does this mean?" (as she is trying to stick her middle finger out at me)
Mom: "Well, you shouldn't do that. It is like saying a bad word and it isn't a very nice or respectful thing to do."
Daughter: "Why did that woman just do that?"
Mom: "I'm not really sure, sweetie. Maybe she was having a bad day. Some people just get mad at others when they have a bad day."
Daughter: "Do you know her?"
Mom: "Nope, I don't. But I hope her day gets better."
Daughter: "Me too. Can you turn the song back on?"
I'm sure we will have this conversation again but for now, we've moved on. And someday, when this young woman has a family of her own and someone flips her off, she'll have the same opportunity to explain this to her darling daughter. Or maybe, she won't think its as disrespectful as we do and not have that conversation with her child, but hope she does......
Anyway, the road we were on is under a lot of construction so, as we're driving along, no one is going very fast and there is a lot of stopping, going, slowing down, etc. It's not a very fun road to be on right now but it was the only way home and because the weather was so nice, the song was so good and we were in happy moods, we didn't mind the road obstacles. So here we are....driving slow, with the windows open, singing a song....when the person in front of me signals to turn right and we start to slow down. Maybe I didn't slow down quick enough for her, or she was irritated that we were having a good time in our little world, who knows, but this silly woman decides to flip me off with her long middle finger as we pass by her. Wait....what?? Long pause......mood was a bit dampened now....
I had no clue what I had done to make her upset enough to want to use THE finger as a gesture toward one of her neighbors driving by. Seriously? And in front of my child. So, now that the music is down and my darling daughter is asking me what that means, I am so flustered. And because I am now flustered, that silly woman has gotten what she wanted, me to react to her.
What is wrong with people? There are so many other things in this world to be upset about than someone on the street driving along happily singing with their child. (I was going to list all the things we could be upset about here but I won't. That would make me even more angry and deflect from my true message.) What was a great mommy-daughter moment that had the potential to be a fun memory for us has now become a life lesson that I'm not ready for her to know.....that there are just people in the world who choose to be mean and mad at everyone. UHG!
Now, I pause here and reflect a little......this woman could have just had the worst day of her life. I can imagine some pretty terrible things that she could be going through right now to make her so angry at a complete stranger. Oh, I'm not letting her off the hook....there is a time and a place for everything. There is a proper way to treat thy neighbor. And, probably what I would worry most about, she really had no idea if I would retaliate back. There are people out there that would have taken it a step further (especially haven just driven down this frustrating road we had been on). I've seen road rage happen between cars even with small passengers in the car, and it doesn't make me happy.
Now, look, I'm not a saint. I'm not perfect. There have been times that I "prod" the driver in front of me a little when they don't react fast enough to the red light turning green. I've beeped my horn a bit when I think someone isn't paying attention to the road and they are about to ram into my ride. I've given "a look" at someone who might be driving 30mph on a one-lane road with a 45mph speed limit when the road is wide open. But, I can honestly say that I have never initiated the use of "the finger" toward anyone. I just can't imagine what I did while driving to provoke it. I've gone back over that last mile or so to try to understand what I might have done but I just don't know. Oh well....
My wish today is to be a part of a community that loves each other, respects each other, helps each other to raise strong respectful children and just understands with an empathetic heart when something may not be going they way we want it to go in that moment.
How did I explain this gesture to my sweetie?
Daughter: "Mommy, what does this mean?" (as she is trying to stick her middle finger out at me)
Mom: "Well, you shouldn't do that. It is like saying a bad word and it isn't a very nice or respectful thing to do."
Daughter: "Why did that woman just do that?"
Mom: "I'm not really sure, sweetie. Maybe she was having a bad day. Some people just get mad at others when they have a bad day."
Daughter: "Do you know her?"
Mom: "Nope, I don't. But I hope her day gets better."
Daughter: "Me too. Can you turn the song back on?"
I'm sure we will have this conversation again but for now, we've moved on. And someday, when this young woman has a family of her own and someone flips her off, she'll have the same opportunity to explain this to her darling daughter. Or maybe, she won't think its as disrespectful as we do and not have that conversation with her child, but hope she does......
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
Day 12: Online shopping.....love it and hate it!
I think that online shopping is one of the greatest modern inventions that my generation has experienced. In this crazy crazy world we live in, shopping online has made it so much easier for me as a mom to balance life, while making sure my family is provided for. And after a bit of trial and error, I have my favorite e-shops for clothes and shoes for the entire family.
I don't have to wait 7-10 business days for much of what I buy to be delivered, there are so many "free 2 day shipping" coupons out there. All you have to do is look. I will fill up my online shopping cart, and if there isn't a code listed on the front page of the site, I just open another window and search for a coupon or two. A lot of times I find a free shipping coupon AND a discount code. I've even been known to shop for groceries online which is great when you travel and are not sure just where a grocery store might be.
The latest craze that I've uncovered is the delivery service. Oh, this concept has been around for ages but it hasn't been as easy as it is today. There are a few apps out there that you download on your smart phone. You place your request and it will find someone to run errands for you...errands like taking care of dry cleaning, delivering food from a restaurant that doesn't already deliver, grocery shopping, flower delivery, etc. Just about anything can be taken care of without leaving the comfort of your home......I even found a site that would deliver wine to my front door within two hours of me ordering it.....now that could be very dangerous!
But I have two main complaints about online shopping today.
eMail Craziness!!!
I went to bed last night with zero new mail in my email inbox and woke up with over 50 new messages. After scanning through them, I found no new messages from the kids' schools, doctor appointment reminders, or from family or friends. All those new messages were from the shops that I frequent most or from shops that want my new business. This is just before 4am. As I clean out these advertisements throughout the day, new ads are quickly filling up the inbox again. So, now I have to continually clean out my inbox fearing that I might miss something important. I've set up another email address to eventually use for all my personal communications but I really like the old one. If I change to the new one, that means everyone (except shopping sites) will have to update their address books. I will still have to scan the old inbox for fear that address books have not been changed. It's so very frustrating but I guess it's better than getting catalogs in the mail.
Not Going To The Mall
My second complaint.....is not going to the mall. The mall is definitely not my favorite place to go as a 40ish mom of three busy kids and husband. It's too crowded, filled with germs and people who walk way too slow in big groups. There are too many kiosks manned by people who harass me about my skin care or nail maintenance. It's just not enjoyable. But it used to be, when I was a teenager.
Mom would drop me and my friends off instructing us to meet on the second floor by JCPenny in two hours. We'd run off to Orange Julius and then start the stroll, the kind of stroll that drives me nuts today. We loved it! Back to school shopping was super fun and Christmas shopping was even better. We could see all the latest styles and actually try on the shoes. My kids do not know about all this. Yes, they have been to the mall before but they haven't really had the experience of traditional "shopping" and that is becoming a problem. My oldest daughter is verging on being a teenager. Her styles are changing which means her current closet that is full of fun t-shirts and jeans are no longer enjoyable to wear. She's ready to be immersed in trying on all kinds of different tops and bottoms and picking and choosing the shoes and accessories that go along with them. She's ready.....and I'm dreading it. But we have a day planned to go and do this and she is super excited.
While I may think that shopping online is more convenient and stress-free, seeing my daughter go through this young-woman-ritual is going to be worth it. I'm sure this won't be the last "trip to the mall" in my near future.
Oh how I love my mid-night shopping sprees online, but I also think it takes away from being a part of normal society. And I will continue to manage my two inboxes and might place a grocery store order or two but I'm also going to adventure out of the house and show my daughter how to shop; how to shop properly and how to avoid all the pesky kiosk creatures.
It's just another new mother-adventure!
Saturday, January 30, 2016
Day 8: How chocolate saved the day.....
For the past four days, we've been on a mostly B-R-A-T diet, except for the B part....I didn't have the energy to go out to buy the bananas. The Banana, Rice, Applesause and Toast diet is what that means and it's supposed to help you through an upset stomach. All but one of us needed this diet as we struggled through one terrible 12-hour stomach bug. I will spare you the disgusting details but I've heard sever people say, "I'd rather be sick with a cold for a month than to have a stomach bug." or "I'd rather have a broken arm than that!" I think I'd quite agree with both of those statements at the moment.
So while we're eating BRAT, diffusing peppermint, slurping chicken broth, sipping on blue Gatorade and rubbing other essential oils on our tummies these past few days, we keep sneaking in a few chocolates. I'm not even sure why but we were and it seemed to be helping. I'm thinking it was mostly psychological but according to this (click here) and this (click here), dark chocolate does help an upset G.I. tract due to bacteria. I think we all probably know that dark chocolate has some great healthy affects when eaten (in moderation of course) but I didn't realize this until we could see it working.
I ate bags and bags of Dove chocolate while pregnant with all of my babies and I just knew it was one of the reasons why they were all very happy babies. Now, although I still love my dove chocolate, I don't eat bags at a time. I love a few chocolates with a glass of Santa Ema Merlot just before going to bed. It soothes me, I believe. I think its as soothing as the warm milk my grandmother, Ginny, used to give me when I'd wake up in the middle of the night. What a special memory that is for me.
So, the virus is gone now and most of the sanitizing is done but we still have our chocolates and will continue to have a healthy supply of them should this ever happen again......or just because we'd like a treat. We'll consider it a better option than taking a tums every night.
Thursday, January 28, 2016
Day 7: Mom flubbed up, a not so proud moment.
I have a calendar and I updated it constantly. I even have erasable pens, which are wonderful by the way, in case I make a mistake or things change. Once I update my written calendar, I transfer that information to my electronic calendar so that I can get electronic notifications to tell me when to do what. Additionally, each morning, I will review these calendars to make sure I'm on top of things and then make a written list on a separate piece of paper so that I can check it off as we go. Think that's a little OCD? I don't....I think it boarders OCD when I rewrite the daily handwritten list over again if I don't like my handwriting......yes, I do this too. But that's for another discussion.....
To help a mother out, there are all sorts of other tools out there that help her remember all of her kids' activities....SignUpGenius, TeamSnap, GroupMe, evite, FB Events, etc. This is where I went terribly wrong.....One of those incredible tools failed me today and I'm feeling so guilty that I "screwed up". I screwed up in front of my child's school......let me tell ya how.
A few weeks before the event, an invitation was sent out by our amazing PTA via SignUpGenius, inviting us to sign up to bring food for a teacher potluck. We love pampering our teachers!!! I saw the electronic sign up list (probably at 11pm when I have time to check my personal email) and signed up almost immediately. Then, the next morning, I transferred this information to my two calendars.......but it wasn't until 6 days before the event that I realized I had written down the wrong date of the event on my calendar. I realized this AFTER I delivered the scrumptious dish to the school's front office SIX DAYS EARLY. The looks on the faces of the ladies who greet me each visit were priceless. They didn't want to embarrass me but they had to find a way to tell me that I had made a mistake. I love them......
The sweet ladies urged me to take home the soup I had made and freeze it for next week. I just felt horrible but I left it there hoping someone might like to enjoy it today. And I promised I would make a fresh batch next week for the real event! I'm sure I'm not the only mom with a schedule that makes them a bit crazy. But I sure felt like it in that moment standing in front of those ladies with hot soup steaming in front of us.
To all the parents who have had a moment like this.....
To all the parents who will have a moment like this.....
My hat is off to you. We need to stand together and to support each other and learn to giggle at ourselves when we flub up. And remember, it's just soup....
To help a mother out, there are all sorts of other tools out there that help her remember all of her kids' activities....SignUpGenius, TeamSnap, GroupMe, evite, FB Events, etc. This is where I went terribly wrong.....One of those incredible tools failed me today and I'm feeling so guilty that I "screwed up". I screwed up in front of my child's school......let me tell ya how.
A few weeks before the event, an invitation was sent out by our amazing PTA via SignUpGenius, inviting us to sign up to bring food for a teacher potluck. We love pampering our teachers!!! I saw the electronic sign up list (probably at 11pm when I have time to check my personal email) and signed up almost immediately. Then, the next morning, I transferred this information to my two calendars.......but it wasn't until 6 days before the event that I realized I had written down the wrong date of the event on my calendar. I realized this AFTER I delivered the scrumptious dish to the school's front office SIX DAYS EARLY. The looks on the faces of the ladies who greet me each visit were priceless. They didn't want to embarrass me but they had to find a way to tell me that I had made a mistake. I love them......
The sweet ladies urged me to take home the soup I had made and freeze it for next week. I just felt horrible but I left it there hoping someone might like to enjoy it today. And I promised I would make a fresh batch next week for the real event! I'm sure I'm not the only mom with a schedule that makes them a bit crazy. But I sure felt like it in that moment standing in front of those ladies with hot soup steaming in front of us.
To all the parents who have had a moment like this.....
To all the parents who will have a moment like this.....
My hat is off to you. We need to stand together and to support each other and learn to giggle at ourselves when we flub up. And remember, it's just soup....
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
Day 6: Worst Day Ever.....
As The Little was having a hard time keeping her eyes open last night at bedtime, she muttered the words, "Worst day ever....." then fell off to dreamland. In her little world, I'm sure it felt like her very worst day ever. You see, she climbed into bed with me around 2am the night before and was restless for the few hours before she jumped out of bed and ran lickety-split to the bathroom.....a-oh......
After a few moments and I didn't see her back, I got my groggy self up to find her leaning over the white porcelain and whimpering. This was the scene that ran over and over for the next 14 hours. Poor sweet little child of mine. She couldn't eat or drink anything before it came right back up. But after about 14 hours of this routine, she was asleep for the night. She stayed asleep and then popped out of bed this morning saying, "I'm all better, Mom."
This was the exact same movie that played in our house last week, except that she was fighting strep. This is the girl who never really gets sick.....so, we're catching up, I guess.
But I want to say this about having a bad day....
We do our best as parents to put everything into perspective. We are very blessed in this life when others are not as blessed as we are. As we think we are struggling, I always try to remember that there are people in this world struggling more through sickness, loneliness, starvation, and loss of a loved one. There are children looking through discarded food for their next meal. There are soldiers fighting, dying and sometimes returning home bruised and broken. We do not take anything for granted. Wait....let me restate that. We try our very best to not take anything for granted.
I think I should stop here and just remind all of our readers to say a little prayer, send happy thoughts and to do just one thing today to assist someone who needs help, doesn't really matter how small of an effort, just make an effort. I'm saying a prayer for you.....you know who you are!
After a few moments and I didn't see her back, I got my groggy self up to find her leaning over the white porcelain and whimpering. This was the scene that ran over and over for the next 14 hours. Poor sweet little child of mine. She couldn't eat or drink anything before it came right back up. But after about 14 hours of this routine, she was asleep for the night. She stayed asleep and then popped out of bed this morning saying, "I'm all better, Mom."
This was the exact same movie that played in our house last week, except that she was fighting strep. This is the girl who never really gets sick.....so, we're catching up, I guess.
But I want to say this about having a bad day....
We do our best as parents to put everything into perspective. We are very blessed in this life when others are not as blessed as we are. As we think we are struggling, I always try to remember that there are people in this world struggling more through sickness, loneliness, starvation, and loss of a loved one. There are children looking through discarded food for their next meal. There are soldiers fighting, dying and sometimes returning home bruised and broken. We do not take anything for granted. Wait....let me restate that. We try our very best to not take anything for granted.
I think I should stop here and just remind all of our readers to say a little prayer, send happy thoughts and to do just one thing today to assist someone who needs help, doesn't really matter how small of an effort, just make an effort. I'm saying a prayer for you.....you know who you are!
Monday, January 25, 2016
Day 5: I don't know, look it up!
Tonight, while making dinner (spaghetti and meatballs - easiest, most accepted meal in the house which receives no complaints EVER!), I urged my children to do their homework. Even The Little has a small amount of homework each week and she already dreads it. In their attempt to put off multiplying decimals and cutting out words that start with "P" for an hour longer, one of my bright and curious children cries out in a screeching voice, "Who invented homework anyway!! I'd like tell him a thing or two!" I may have paraphrased that just a little there, but you get the idea. The screech was so high pitched and miserable sounding, even the dog covered her ears. So instead of responding, "I don't know, go look it up." I got out my computer and looked it up myself. I also wanted to see who I should seek out about having a one-on-one conversation with the lovely human being who did this to us.
According to this (click here), an Italian man invented homework back in 1095. Did I mention we're eating spaghetti and meatballs tonight.....I read the passage to the kids and it turns out, homework has been an on-again off-again kind of tradition that came back into fashion in the US when we were trying to keep up with those Soviets back in the 1940s. Oh, the humanity.....
I don't really mind homework, a little homework that is. I enjoy seeing the progress my kiddos are making in school. I really enjoy seeing how much they are learning and how they relate their school lessons to real life. I enjoy helping them understand why some of the math skills they are required to repeat over and over and over and over again will help them in their career aspirations they may have at that moment. Homework, isn't as bad these days as it was "back in my day".
But I love that I can say, "I don't know, look it up." And I'm not afraid at all to say "I don't know." I was trained that if I said I didn't know something, I should follow that with the action of going to find out the answer. We just didn't have the internet as a tool like our kids do these days. We had these:
As you might imagine, these were not as up-to-date as the internet. They were pretty archaic according to immediate supply of information we have now. I was given the family set of our encyclopedias some time ago and they are displayed proudly in our "family library". I showed these to The Boy about a year ago, I think his jaw dropped to the floor. "That's crazy, Mom." He seemed to say as he stood their staring at the big dusty books.
Like I said, I really enjoy telling the kids to go look something up. And since they LOVE LOVE LOVE technology and the internet, they see this as a treat, not a burden. Here's a perfect example, I think I've already told The Boy to look up who invented homework a long time ago; he already knew the answer and was basically reciting along with me as I read what I had found out just moments ago. That was so great!! Proud mom-moment!
I love learning along side my children. I may have to do a Google search on the new ways to calculate multiplication problems or to review what a compound sentence is before sitting down to help my children with their homework each night, but I have no complaints. The Hubby enjoys this too, probably more than me! But I love it even more being able to point at the sliver box plugged into the wall while saying, look it up and then seeing the children run to the wifi-powered contraption to, in fact, look it up.
Try it some time, "I don't know, honey. Go look it up."
Sunday, January 24, 2016
Day 4: The Mommy Tantrum
Visualize the scene......It's 4pm on a Saturday afternoon, time to get started on dinner. It's been a long day that started early with carting children around to morning tae kwon do and cheer practices, then the weekly trip to the store, then a few chores at the house, then hosting a baking play-date. She's so proud of herself, she's picked a great new dish that she thinks everyone will like for dinner and she's purchased all that she needs to create it. But its going to take some time to put together. That's no problem because cooking is what she enjoys.
There's poaching the chicken followed by shredding it after it has cooled. There is making the chicken gravy from scratch, you know the kind.....butter, flour, broth, salt, pepper and stirring constantly for 10 minutes until it thickens. The next step was to take that gorgeous gravy that she just created and mix it up with a few more ingredients to make a delicious Mexican style cream sauce that will be used to hold the cheese (grated by hand, she might add), tortillas and the chicken together while it bakes in the oven for 30 minutes more.
It's now 6pm and the oven timer has just dinged to let her know that the scrumptious casserole was finished. She opens the oven to gorgeous steaming Mexican goodness. Now it was time to let it cool a little before cutting into it. Dinner will be served in about 20 minutes.
The dish has cooled, milk has been poured, napkins and forks are out and plates are filled with the chicken tortilla casserole yumminess. It is time for her to call everyone in to sit down and eat. The moment of truth has arrived, as it has so many other times when presenting new ideas to her amazing family. End scene one, lights fade out.
Scene two opens with her children running in with their tummies growling, ready for some grub....only to stop dead in their tracks.
Kids say almost in a beautiful unison chorus....
"What is that smell?"
"Oh, no, not again."
"I'm not eating that!(said with arms crossed and foot tapping wildly)"
Mom replies.....
"C'mon, just try it. I think you'll like it."
"Have an open mind, here."
"Just a few bites."
Kids' response.....
"No. Can I have pasta?"
"I'm not eating that and you're not making me. (Looks up at ceiling)"
Dad chimes in....
"C'mon kids, it's really good. Maybe a little salt or salsa verde might help."
The happy little family was in a state of total chaos and Mom had began to flip out. She was tired.....she'd had a long day of catering to her family. Now, after she'd worked so hard on this meal, her loved ones are rebelling. So, Mom had gotten so irritated at the stubbornness, that, with haste, she ended up making ham and cheese tacos. One of the girls gladly gobbled it down. The other one, was also irritated at how her mother was behaving that she also refused to eat her new meal.
Mom then piled the portions of the casserole she had given to the girls onto her own plate and began eating, drinking wine between each bite. She had intentions of eating it all right there in front of them all....but after two portions, she was out. It really was delicious and she just couldn't understand why they wouldn't just try it. That's all she ever asks is for them to try new meal ideas. She always has a back-up plan.
Mom had to hand it to the men. The Boy ate a little at first just to be polite....then the plate was empty (but he certainly didn't want 2nds). Dad also cleaned his plate.
Her tantrum lasted the rest of the evening. Her feelings were truly hurt.
She has come to the terrible realization that this fun task of creating new meals for her family is really just a terrible idea. The audience is unwilling to be captivated by her talents. And her feelings will forever be hurt. So, why put herself through this again and again? Why does she bang her head up against the wall over and over thinking that the next time it won't hurt like the last time she did it.
Oh, she will be cooking these wonderful meals for herself though, why should she suffer with mediocrity? The rest of the crew can live off of pasta and meatballs, macaroni and cheese, and tomato soup with grilled cheeses for the rest of their lives. Maybe some day, when they smell such goodness from her plate compared to theirs, they will come around and say, "Mom, can I try a little?" Mom might think about responding, "I'm sorry, honey, I only made enough for me. Maybe next time." But what she will actually do, while jumping up and down.....give it all away with joy hoping to hear that they want more.
She loves her family and she would't trade them for the world, she just wishes they would be a bit more adventurous with their dinner palates.
Readers, if you are interested in this recipe, click here and let us know what you think.
There's poaching the chicken followed by shredding it after it has cooled. There is making the chicken gravy from scratch, you know the kind.....butter, flour, broth, salt, pepper and stirring constantly for 10 minutes until it thickens. The next step was to take that gorgeous gravy that she just created and mix it up with a few more ingredients to make a delicious Mexican style cream sauce that will be used to hold the cheese (grated by hand, she might add), tortillas and the chicken together while it bakes in the oven for 30 minutes more.
It's now 6pm and the oven timer has just dinged to let her know that the scrumptious casserole was finished. She opens the oven to gorgeous steaming Mexican goodness. Now it was time to let it cool a little before cutting into it. Dinner will be served in about 20 minutes.
The dish has cooled, milk has been poured, napkins and forks are out and plates are filled with the chicken tortilla casserole yumminess. It is time for her to call everyone in to sit down and eat. The moment of truth has arrived, as it has so many other times when presenting new ideas to her amazing family. End scene one, lights fade out.
Scene two opens with her children running in with their tummies growling, ready for some grub....only to stop dead in their tracks.
Kids say almost in a beautiful unison chorus....
"What is that smell?"
"Oh, no, not again."
"I'm not eating that!(said with arms crossed and foot tapping wildly)"
Mom replies.....
"C'mon, just try it. I think you'll like it."
"Have an open mind, here."
"Just a few bites."
Kids' response.....
"No. Can I have pasta?"
"I'm not eating that and you're not making me. (Looks up at ceiling)"
Dad chimes in....
"C'mon kids, it's really good. Maybe a little salt or salsa verde might help."
The happy little family was in a state of total chaos and Mom had began to flip out. She was tired.....she'd had a long day of catering to her family. Now, after she'd worked so hard on this meal, her loved ones are rebelling. So, Mom had gotten so irritated at the stubbornness, that, with haste, she ended up making ham and cheese tacos. One of the girls gladly gobbled it down. The other one, was also irritated at how her mother was behaving that she also refused to eat her new meal.
Mom then piled the portions of the casserole she had given to the girls onto her own plate and began eating, drinking wine between each bite. She had intentions of eating it all right there in front of them all....but after two portions, she was out. It really was delicious and she just couldn't understand why they wouldn't just try it. That's all she ever asks is for them to try new meal ideas. She always has a back-up plan.
Mom had to hand it to the men. The Boy ate a little at first just to be polite....then the plate was empty (but he certainly didn't want 2nds). Dad also cleaned his plate.
Her tantrum lasted the rest of the evening. Her feelings were truly hurt.
She has come to the terrible realization that this fun task of creating new meals for her family is really just a terrible idea. The audience is unwilling to be captivated by her talents. And her feelings will forever be hurt. So, why put herself through this again and again? Why does she bang her head up against the wall over and over thinking that the next time it won't hurt like the last time she did it.
Oh, she will be cooking these wonderful meals for herself though, why should she suffer with mediocrity? The rest of the crew can live off of pasta and meatballs, macaroni and cheese, and tomato soup with grilled cheeses for the rest of their lives. Maybe some day, when they smell such goodness from her plate compared to theirs, they will come around and say, "Mom, can I try a little?" Mom might think about responding, "I'm sorry, honey, I only made enough for me. Maybe next time." But what she will actually do, while jumping up and down.....give it all away with joy hoping to hear that they want more.
She loves her family and she would't trade them for the world, she just wishes they would be a bit more adventurous with their dinner palates.
Readers, if you are interested in this recipe, click here and let us know what you think.
Saturday, January 23, 2016
Day 3: I'm going to be a first-time Mom, again!
Yes, it's true. I'm going to be a first-time mom soon. NO! I am not pregnant! Let me repeat, I am not with child! Is that what you thought I meant? Sorry about that (giggle).
Really, almost 13 years ago, I became a first-time mom to an amazing little boy. A little over two years later, I became a first-time mom to a gorgeous little girl. I say "first-time mom" because I'd never been a mother to a daughter before. Everything was a little bit different than with my first born. Sometimes it felt like I was experiencing being a new mom all over again. They were so different, not just in gender but in personality, likes and dislikes, when they cried, why they cried, sleeping arrangements, etc. Really, almost nothing worked the same with The Lady as they did with The Boy. They really didn't even resemble each other very much. They certainly could not wear the same clothes and rarely like the same type of toys.
When The Bigs were little, before they started Kindergarten, I was part of a wonderful organization called MOPS. I highly recommend it to any mom of little ones. It was a great place to meet other moms going through the same challenges, successes, and routines. Right after The Lady was born, we moved to a new city where I knew no one. MOPS was right around the corner, so we joined up. The kids got to go with me too so I wasn't just leaving them with a babysitter. I was able to get out of my "mom-at-home" uniform, you know the one - the one that consists of some type of exercise pants, hubby's big t-shirt and fuzzy slippers. Usually all garments had some form a spill on them - from food dropped on them to food spit up on them......Anyway, I got to get semi-dressed up, curled my hair and put on some make up. It was really great!
The wonderful ladies who ran MOPS really did some great things for us. One of the leadership roles was called a "Mentor Mom". This was a mom who had older kids who could help give advice to us younger moms. They'd already been there and done that. However, sometimes this Mentor Mom had much older children, children already grown up. The experiences she had were much different than what we were going through. So I didn't find that my Mentor Mom really helped that much except to reassure me that the tough times of have two very young ones would pass....would pass to the challenges of having tweens, then teens and then young adults. So in my opinion, she was a first-time mom of 20-somethings. She herself had not yet married a daughter off or sent her son off into the real world. Those moments for her were yet to come. I see parenting as always being a new experience, I will always need advice from someone who had gone through it before.
In about two weeks, I will embark on a brand new parenting adventure. I will share in the responsibility of being a parent of a true-to-life, full of energy, full of crazy boy emotions and weird attitudes TEENAGER (I might even experience a little popping, locking and long showers too)!! And honestly, I'm so very excited. I can't wait to experience all of his new adventures. I can't wait to help him navigate through some uncharted waters. I get a little emotional about it all too. He's such an amazing young man who is practically as tall as me already. And soon, before I know it, he will be that young adult that I will be setting off into the real world. Oh my, here come the tears.....
So, you see, I'm going to be a first-time Mom, again soon. I'm so very proud of who he has become so far! Love my boy.....
Really, almost 13 years ago, I became a first-time mom to an amazing little boy. A little over two years later, I became a first-time mom to a gorgeous little girl. I say "first-time mom" because I'd never been a mother to a daughter before. Everything was a little bit different than with my first born. Sometimes it felt like I was experiencing being a new mom all over again. They were so different, not just in gender but in personality, likes and dislikes, when they cried, why they cried, sleeping arrangements, etc. Really, almost nothing worked the same with The Lady as they did with The Boy. They really didn't even resemble each other very much. They certainly could not wear the same clothes and rarely like the same type of toys.
When The Bigs were little, before they started Kindergarten, I was part of a wonderful organization called MOPS. I highly recommend it to any mom of little ones. It was a great place to meet other moms going through the same challenges, successes, and routines. Right after The Lady was born, we moved to a new city where I knew no one. MOPS was right around the corner, so we joined up. The kids got to go with me too so I wasn't just leaving them with a babysitter. I was able to get out of my "mom-at-home" uniform, you know the one - the one that consists of some type of exercise pants, hubby's big t-shirt and fuzzy slippers. Usually all garments had some form a spill on them - from food dropped on them to food spit up on them......Anyway, I got to get semi-dressed up, curled my hair and put on some make up. It was really great!
The wonderful ladies who ran MOPS really did some great things for us. One of the leadership roles was called a "Mentor Mom". This was a mom who had older kids who could help give advice to us younger moms. They'd already been there and done that. However, sometimes this Mentor Mom had much older children, children already grown up. The experiences she had were much different than what we were going through. So I didn't find that my Mentor Mom really helped that much except to reassure me that the tough times of have two very young ones would pass....would pass to the challenges of having tweens, then teens and then young adults. So in my opinion, she was a first-time mom of 20-somethings. She herself had not yet married a daughter off or sent her son off into the real world. Those moments for her were yet to come. I see parenting as always being a new experience, I will always need advice from someone who had gone through it before.
In about two weeks, I will embark on a brand new parenting adventure. I will share in the responsibility of being a parent of a true-to-life, full of energy, full of crazy boy emotions and weird attitudes TEENAGER (I might even experience a little popping, locking and long showers too)!! And honestly, I'm so very excited. I can't wait to experience all of his new adventures. I can't wait to help him navigate through some uncharted waters. I get a little emotional about it all too. He's such an amazing young man who is practically as tall as me already. And soon, before I know it, he will be that young adult that I will be setting off into the real world. Oh my, here come the tears.....
So, you see, I'm going to be a first-time Mom, again soon. I'm so very proud of who he has become so far! Love my boy.....
Friday, January 22, 2016
Day 2: Me, Pick Me!
When I decided to start writing again, I had to come up with a name for my journal. It doesn't sound like a difficult task, I think that I'm pretty darn creative. But there are so many great names for blogs out there already. I was experiencing "writer's block" in that first moment of this project, before anything had been written.
I sat there for a good while and just couldn't come up with anything. So I moved on to thinking about the types of things I would write about. I came up with a list of several topics about things that were going on right now in our lives. One of the topics at the top of that list was about going through the process of searching for a new job. As that thought came into my mind, I felt a block hit the pit of my stomach. I was immediately nauseated with the fear of having to send out resumes and getting rejected before anyone actually met me. But the thought of interviewing followed by rejection after they met me brought on even more nausea, now I was dizzy too. But, after all, that was the process of the job search that everyone goes through.
I know this process well. I have been on the selection side of the table for many many years. Every time I would call to let someone down about a job they had interviewed for, that nauseated feeling would come back. I just hate that part of the job, but it was part of my responsibility as an HR leader and hiring manager.
So, here I am today, actively seeking my next career adventure. I've already experienced that feeling of anxiety. I'm anxious about whether or not my resume will be good enough to initiate the first call, will my handshake be firm enough but not too firm, will I be able to discuss my past experiences in a way that impresses the "judges"....I was having that "me, pick me" feeling. You know the one....the feeling you get when the two team captains start picking kids from the line-up to create their kick-ball teams. You stand there, thinking "Please don't let me be picked last. Me, pick me!"
It's funny to think that this scenario isn't just what we experience as kids. We still experience this as full-grown adults. We even experience this as parents. As parents, I believe most of us would agree that we've had the "Please let my son get picked for the starting line-up. Him, pick him!" Or "My daughter is talented enough for the lead part. Her, pick her!"
But when they are not picked for the starting line-up or the lead in the school play, our parenting skills kick in. Yes, we are probably as disappointed as they are, if not more. But this is where I begin reassuring my child of how talented they truly are and that if they keep trying hard, some day they will be the lead or on the starting line-up. Or maybe we decide to find a different sport that is better suited to his talents. Or we explain how important the co-staring roles are to making the lead role successful. Essentially, we begin teaching our children how to cope with this type of rejection so that when they are in their "mid-life" (as The Boy has labeled me) and facing this again, they don't completely get derailed and are unable to bounce back.
So back to the job search.....so here I am sitting in front of a man who is a good 10 years younger than me, who has been trained up through the big 10 consulting world and now holds the title of COO at a fast-growth start-up. He's interviewing me for the HR director which would report directly to him. This would be the first time in my career that I would have reported to someone who is not in the same generation, or who was at least a little older than me. Wow, what a sad realization......
The first question out of his mouth was, "So, what brings you in today?" Huh??? Didn't you know I was here to interview?? Right then and there I should have excused myself, but I stayed just to get tortured through the rest of a painful 30 minutes. He asked two more questions - about my one strength and one weakness. Hadn't he read any leadership books lately??? Anyway, needless to say, the perfect job for me would have been terrible because of who I would have reported to. Quite frankly, I'm not sure if he was qualified for the COO title that he held.
I went home after the interview knowing that it was not going any further than today. But the feedback of "not enough energy and not confident enough" hit me like a brick. I was having that "being picked last" feeling. As a seasoned HR leader, I knew exactly how to interpret his "constructive" feedback, or lack of it. He wanted someone who was younger, arrogant and knew a little less than he did. So, I say, "Good luck, to ya, young man!"
I'm really not bitter at all, that's how it goes sometimes. I started having that same conversation with myself that I have with my children, the reassurance conversation. "The company was too far away." "Although I could do the job with my eyes closed, he would not have been easy to work with." "Did I truly want to get back into an 80-hour a week gig, NO!" "It was just not meant to be, so move on with your bad self."
So, I've successfully moved on from that interview and have really had some great conversations with other companies who have been a bit more respectful about the hiring process. As I go through this experience, I am learning how to cope with being a middle-aged professional and have already started brainstorming on how I will be able to train new leaders to interview properly and without bias.
Back to coming up with a name for my virtual journal....As I sat there reviewing my topic list, it came to me. "Me, pick me!" I knew that was what I wanted to write about with this experience and I was sure it would come up when I talk about parenting challenges. So there you have it. The name of the new blog.....
With the last sip of my morning coffee, I'm going to sign off now. Thank you for listening to my rant today....until we meet again......
I sat there for a good while and just couldn't come up with anything. So I moved on to thinking about the types of things I would write about. I came up with a list of several topics about things that were going on right now in our lives. One of the topics at the top of that list was about going through the process of searching for a new job. As that thought came into my mind, I felt a block hit the pit of my stomach. I was immediately nauseated with the fear of having to send out resumes and getting rejected before anyone actually met me. But the thought of interviewing followed by rejection after they met me brought on even more nausea, now I was dizzy too. But, after all, that was the process of the job search that everyone goes through.
I know this process well. I have been on the selection side of the table for many many years. Every time I would call to let someone down about a job they had interviewed for, that nauseated feeling would come back. I just hate that part of the job, but it was part of my responsibility as an HR leader and hiring manager.
So, here I am today, actively seeking my next career adventure. I've already experienced that feeling of anxiety. I'm anxious about whether or not my resume will be good enough to initiate the first call, will my handshake be firm enough but not too firm, will I be able to discuss my past experiences in a way that impresses the "judges"....I was having that "me, pick me" feeling. You know the one....the feeling you get when the two team captains start picking kids from the line-up to create their kick-ball teams. You stand there, thinking "Please don't let me be picked last. Me, pick me!"
It's funny to think that this scenario isn't just what we experience as kids. We still experience this as full-grown adults. We even experience this as parents. As parents, I believe most of us would agree that we've had the "Please let my son get picked for the starting line-up. Him, pick him!" Or "My daughter is talented enough for the lead part. Her, pick her!"
But when they are not picked for the starting line-up or the lead in the school play, our parenting skills kick in. Yes, we are probably as disappointed as they are, if not more. But this is where I begin reassuring my child of how talented they truly are and that if they keep trying hard, some day they will be the lead or on the starting line-up. Or maybe we decide to find a different sport that is better suited to his talents. Or we explain how important the co-staring roles are to making the lead role successful. Essentially, we begin teaching our children how to cope with this type of rejection so that when they are in their "mid-life" (as The Boy has labeled me) and facing this again, they don't completely get derailed and are unable to bounce back.
So back to the job search.....so here I am sitting in front of a man who is a good 10 years younger than me, who has been trained up through the big 10 consulting world and now holds the title of COO at a fast-growth start-up. He's interviewing me for the HR director which would report directly to him. This would be the first time in my career that I would have reported to someone who is not in the same generation, or who was at least a little older than me. Wow, what a sad realization......
The first question out of his mouth was, "So, what brings you in today?" Huh??? Didn't you know I was here to interview?? Right then and there I should have excused myself, but I stayed just to get tortured through the rest of a painful 30 minutes. He asked two more questions - about my one strength and one weakness. Hadn't he read any leadership books lately??? Anyway, needless to say, the perfect job for me would have been terrible because of who I would have reported to. Quite frankly, I'm not sure if he was qualified for the COO title that he held.
I went home after the interview knowing that it was not going any further than today. But the feedback of "not enough energy and not confident enough" hit me like a brick. I was having that "being picked last" feeling. As a seasoned HR leader, I knew exactly how to interpret his "constructive" feedback, or lack of it. He wanted someone who was younger, arrogant and knew a little less than he did. So, I say, "Good luck, to ya, young man!"
I'm really not bitter at all, that's how it goes sometimes. I started having that same conversation with myself that I have with my children, the reassurance conversation. "The company was too far away." "Although I could do the job with my eyes closed, he would not have been easy to work with." "Did I truly want to get back into an 80-hour a week gig, NO!" "It was just not meant to be, so move on with your bad self."
So, I've successfully moved on from that interview and have really had some great conversations with other companies who have been a bit more respectful about the hiring process. As I go through this experience, I am learning how to cope with being a middle-aged professional and have already started brainstorming on how I will be able to train new leaders to interview properly and without bias.
Back to coming up with a name for my virtual journal....As I sat there reviewing my topic list, it came to me. "Me, pick me!" I knew that was what I wanted to write about with this experience and I was sure it would come up when I talk about parenting challenges. So there you have it. The name of the new blog.....
With the last sip of my morning coffee, I'm going to sign off now. Thank you for listening to my rant today....until we meet again......
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Day 1: No, you shouldn't have punched him.
The day that I had the urge to start journaling again was not such a good day. One of my children did not have such a positive afternoon....we'll get to that in a little bit. This was one of those moments where I just wanted to sit down and write down what was happening. I needed to get what was in my head out of my head. Writing is therapeutic for me.
As I said earlier, it wasn't such a good day. What I should have said, it was a good day until my darling daughter came home from school with tears streaming down her rosy-red cheeks. I always put things into perspective and I know there are families out there who are going through much worse than what this little experience is to us today. Honestly, the news stories today seem to be so much worse than when I was a "tween". Maybe I don't remember the stories, didn't recognize the words the reporters used (like child molestation, abandonment, starvation) but I just can't have the news on anymore. It can't be on because my children know what some of those words mean and the words they don't know, they ask about. Our children are filled with a natural need to help people and to take care of people, so they just don't understand how someone could hurt another human being. They just don't get it. So, this leads me into my story......oh, wait, you need a little bit more context.
We have three children. The Boy is about be 13, The Lady is almost 11, and The Little just turned 5. As I've mentioned, they all have these huge hearts. They have a love for animals, a love for nature, a strong love for God and Jesus, a love for their family that is limitless and a love for people. Their love for people doesn't dwindle based on race, gender, age or ability. Truly, they have the purest of hearts and I sure hope we are doing a good job at nurturing that character in them.
So when The Lady comes home from school in tears because she feels like someone she trusts has betrayed her, well, then I have lots to say. But what is the best way to approach it?
Let's get to know The Lady a bit more to give you that extra context. The Lady is simply amazing, but I'm her mom and I only see her as amazing. Oh, I'm not blind, she's not perfect, none of us are perfect. But when I describe her, she is damn-near close to perfect. She is sporty, yet LOVES her dresses. She has never been afraid to speak her mind and is very intelligent. From an early age, other kids followed her lead. I've always said she was going to grow up to be a CEO of some great company!! She just gets it. She's reads people very well and that can sometimes hurt.....she's just too young to understand why other people may react differently than what she would expect.
So here's what happened. She's had a great day so far. Choir practice before school, lunch with her friends, assisting some of the lower grades during their art, library, and gym classes. She's in 5th grade this year so she is one of the "upper classmen" and gets to help out other classes during her normal recess time. Her choice, she's a great leader! Then, she and some of her classmates were playing a game. She gets very upset when kids don't play by the rules, and some of the boys were not playing nice. After several attempts to get them to play correctly, she goes to the teacher. She's very upset at this point. He turns to the boys and tells them to play by the rules. He apparently asked the boys why they wanted to make a girl angry and then said, "Look at her, she's very upset." Well, now he's done it......
She doesn't see the teacher's actions as helping her at all. It just made it worse. Everyone was now looking at her and now she was embarrassed AND angry.
Of course this is her side of the story after she came home and unloaded this fun little tale to me with full tears running down her face. She just didn't understand why anyone would be so mean (the boys) or how a person she was supposed to trust (the teacher) would hurt her feelings like that in front of everyone.
No, I didn't call the teacher, nor will I. No, I didn't call the boys' parents, nor will I. Why? Because I truly believe that my job as a parent is to help her to solve problems like this on her own with a little coaching from me. I've read so many articles lately about how we should help our kids learn how to solve problems. One note to add at this point....if I thought that any of my children were being bullied in any way, you bet I'd be on the principle's calendar early the next day to discuss what had happened. But I do not believe this is what had happened. Using the "B" word is a serious thing!
So, we talked it out. We talked about how sometimes people won't be so nice or do what we think is the right thing to do. Was it okay to tell the teacher? Yes, she did the right thing after trying to work it out on her own first. Did the teacher mean to embarrass her? Probably not, I didn't think that was his intent. But I reassured her that her feelings were real and then we talked about how we deal with those feelings. We also talked about how she might handle this situation differently if it happens again. That last part was a little tricky, I had to convince her again that she did nothing wrong but that other actions may have had a different result. No, she shouldn't have punched the boys (as The Boy suggested), that would have had much worse results for her. But she was right to stick up for herself. We talked about that for a while and hugged it out and as I wiped those last tears away, she asked me for a snack......In the end, the tears dried up and we were back on track and she was back to doing handstands on the wall.
In closing, I want to make sure you understand that we absolutely adore our community and our amazing teachers. We don't know what we'd do without them.
As I said earlier, it wasn't such a good day. What I should have said, it was a good day until my darling daughter came home from school with tears streaming down her rosy-red cheeks. I always put things into perspective and I know there are families out there who are going through much worse than what this little experience is to us today. Honestly, the news stories today seem to be so much worse than when I was a "tween". Maybe I don't remember the stories, didn't recognize the words the reporters used (like child molestation, abandonment, starvation) but I just can't have the news on anymore. It can't be on because my children know what some of those words mean and the words they don't know, they ask about. Our children are filled with a natural need to help people and to take care of people, so they just don't understand how someone could hurt another human being. They just don't get it. So, this leads me into my story......oh, wait, you need a little bit more context.
We have three children. The Boy is about be 13, The Lady is almost 11, and The Little just turned 5. As I've mentioned, they all have these huge hearts. They have a love for animals, a love for nature, a strong love for God and Jesus, a love for their family that is limitless and a love for people. Their love for people doesn't dwindle based on race, gender, age or ability. Truly, they have the purest of hearts and I sure hope we are doing a good job at nurturing that character in them.
So when The Lady comes home from school in tears because she feels like someone she trusts has betrayed her, well, then I have lots to say. But what is the best way to approach it?
Let's get to know The Lady a bit more to give you that extra context. The Lady is simply amazing, but I'm her mom and I only see her as amazing. Oh, I'm not blind, she's not perfect, none of us are perfect. But when I describe her, she is damn-near close to perfect. She is sporty, yet LOVES her dresses. She has never been afraid to speak her mind and is very intelligent. From an early age, other kids followed her lead. I've always said she was going to grow up to be a CEO of some great company!! She just gets it. She's reads people very well and that can sometimes hurt.....she's just too young to understand why other people may react differently than what she would expect.
So here's what happened. She's had a great day so far. Choir practice before school, lunch with her friends, assisting some of the lower grades during their art, library, and gym classes. She's in 5th grade this year so she is one of the "upper classmen" and gets to help out other classes during her normal recess time. Her choice, she's a great leader! Then, she and some of her classmates were playing a game. She gets very upset when kids don't play by the rules, and some of the boys were not playing nice. After several attempts to get them to play correctly, she goes to the teacher. She's very upset at this point. He turns to the boys and tells them to play by the rules. He apparently asked the boys why they wanted to make a girl angry and then said, "Look at her, she's very upset." Well, now he's done it......
She doesn't see the teacher's actions as helping her at all. It just made it worse. Everyone was now looking at her and now she was embarrassed AND angry.
Of course this is her side of the story after she came home and unloaded this fun little tale to me with full tears running down her face. She just didn't understand why anyone would be so mean (the boys) or how a person she was supposed to trust (the teacher) would hurt her feelings like that in front of everyone.
No, I didn't call the teacher, nor will I. No, I didn't call the boys' parents, nor will I. Why? Because I truly believe that my job as a parent is to help her to solve problems like this on her own with a little coaching from me. I've read so many articles lately about how we should help our kids learn how to solve problems. One note to add at this point....if I thought that any of my children were being bullied in any way, you bet I'd be on the principle's calendar early the next day to discuss what had happened. But I do not believe this is what had happened. Using the "B" word is a serious thing!
So, we talked it out. We talked about how sometimes people won't be so nice or do what we think is the right thing to do. Was it okay to tell the teacher? Yes, she did the right thing after trying to work it out on her own first. Did the teacher mean to embarrass her? Probably not, I didn't think that was his intent. But I reassured her that her feelings were real and then we talked about how we deal with those feelings. We also talked about how she might handle this situation differently if it happens again. That last part was a little tricky, I had to convince her again that she did nothing wrong but that other actions may have had a different result. No, she shouldn't have punched the boys (as The Boy suggested), that would have had much worse results for her. But she was right to stick up for herself. We talked about that for a while and hugged it out and as I wiped those last tears away, she asked me for a snack......In the end, the tears dried up and we were back on track and she was back to doing handstands on the wall.
In closing, I want to make sure you understand that we absolutely adore our community and our amazing teachers. We don't know what we'd do without them.
Starting Again.....
Where do I begin....again? Let me tell ya, I've attempted to sit down at the computer and put my thoughts down in writing so many times. If you were to ask my husband if I keep a hand-written journal, he would tell you YES! He has found countless numbers of journals that I've started and never filled up; journals and diaries about what was going on in my life at that moment in time. There is one in particular that I found recently about the months before and during our first moments of dating. I don't even remember writing those words. But when I found it, what a complete treasure it was to open it up and see my feelings on those sweet pages. Treasures, that is what my half-filled up journals are, treasures.
Then, when we had our first child, let's call him The Boy, I found out about blogging. Oh, I thought that was just what I needed! I had no time to sit down with a pen and paper anymore. But with my new found toy, I could write about our adventures as parents AND I could share pictures AND I could get it done quickly. And I did great! For several years, I was very consistent and was very proud of those entries into the cyber world. But then life got a bit more crazy and I've slowed down blogging about the family until almost nothing.....enter the crickets.....the family blog has gone silent......I'm really sad that I've let it go. But I view life as a series of stages and chapters. That was chapter 35, now we're on chapter 45 and it's a little different.
Here we are, about 13 years after my first blog post, that would be four cities, three dogs and three children later, and I'm ready. I'm ready to recommit some of my "free" time to getting the words that are floating around in my head down on "cyber paper". What's my motivation, you might ask. Well, let me tell ya. I recently sat down with my children (you'll get to know them well) and showed them my early cyber journals....journals about them. The looks on their faces were truly priceless when they would read a post that was about their first words, first steps, birthday parties, picking flowers, looking for bugs (or not) or just to see a picture that they had never seen before. They giggled at some of the things I wrote and that made my heart full. They wanted more.
The two big kids, lets call them The Bigs, have requested several times for me to keep up on my journals. I have attempted to start them back up, usually on January 1st, but then life gets busy again. I'm in a new place now. No, we've not moved again, divorced, or anything like that. It just feels like I "should" be writing. I've got so much to say. I've got so much to say about life in general. So this cyber journal won't be filled with what's happening in my family life. Oh, well, maybe a little but it won't be a cyber family photo album. I'm going to revitalize my old site for those types of entries. This is a place where I will be able to share my thoughts on raising children, professional quips, and I might just rant a little. I don't like to do that on Facebook or Twitter, I guess I'm a little old fashion.
So, with a quiet house and little Bailey's in my coffee, here's goes.....I'm a little rusty, so please be patient!
Here we are, about 13 years after my first blog post, that would be four cities, three dogs and three children later, and I'm ready. I'm ready to recommit some of my "free" time to getting the words that are floating around in my head down on "cyber paper". What's my motivation, you might ask. Well, let me tell ya. I recently sat down with my children (you'll get to know them well) and showed them my early cyber journals....journals about them. The looks on their faces were truly priceless when they would read a post that was about their first words, first steps, birthday parties, picking flowers, looking for bugs (or not) or just to see a picture that they had never seen before. They giggled at some of the things I wrote and that made my heart full. They wanted more.
The two big kids, lets call them The Bigs, have requested several times for me to keep up on my journals. I have attempted to start them back up, usually on January 1st, but then life gets busy again. I'm in a new place now. No, we've not moved again, divorced, or anything like that. It just feels like I "should" be writing. I've got so much to say. I've got so much to say about life in general. So this cyber journal won't be filled with what's happening in my family life. Oh, well, maybe a little but it won't be a cyber family photo album. I'm going to revitalize my old site for those types of entries. This is a place where I will be able to share my thoughts on raising children, professional quips, and I might just rant a little. I don't like to do that on Facebook or Twitter, I guess I'm a little old fashion.
So, with a quiet house and little Bailey's in my coffee, here's goes.....I'm a little rusty, so please be patient!
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